Friday, October 3, 2008

Body Traffic

I refuse to ever go inside a grocery store again. Besides the fact that I want to buy everything I see because I always go when I'm hungry, I hate dealing with people who do not understand the dynamics of moving around in a grocery store.

For those of you this applies to, let me explain something.

The aisles are not very wide. At the most, they are about 5 or 6 feet wide. This is not enough room for your 3 foot wide cart and 4 foot wide ass to walk down the very middle of. Just like in real traffic (in a car and on the roads, in case you weren't sure), stay to your right, leaving the left hand side of aisle open for people coming the opposite way. Or, if you don't want to stay on the right, go the left side, it really doesn't matter. Just please, STOP WALKING DOWN THE MIDDLE.

If you refuse to do that, and you choose to walk down the middle of the aisle still, at least move out of the way for someone coming towards you. Is that too much to ask?

If you are walking down the aisle (hopefully on the right hand side) and you see someone is stopped on the left hand side looking at their potential dinner, DO NOT stop right next to them to look at your potential dinner. This makes it completely impossible for anyone else to get past you. All you have to do is walk an extra 3 feet past the stopped person, or stop 3 feet before that person, leaving an area open for the rest of us to get by.

I swear to god, I will kill the next person I see do either of these.


Mastercard Marxist said...

I can relate to this having just taken a trip to the grocery store myself. I was on the verge of just leaving.

Some people just don't get it, I want to go in, pick up my shopping and leave as quickly as possible. I don't want to spend 20 minutes inching left and right in an attempt to get around someones enormous ass.

God Himself said...

Tell me about it. Grocery stores are now at the top of my list of things I hate the most. At least until something else happens that drives me to the brink of insanity.