Monday, September 22, 2008

How Seinfeld Saved My Life

I am not a big TV watcher. I mean, of course I watch TV, but only a select few shows. It's hard for me to really get in to something new, and with most shows (besides reality TV which I hate), each season picks up where the last one left off. I like going in knowing everything, so I won't watch season 4 of Generic Crime Drama if I haven't seen seasons 1 - 3.

So I stick with the shows I do know. CSI (Vegas, I refuse to watch Miami because of David Caruso, and New York is just boring), House, Sopranos (thank you A&E), Family Guy, and then whatever else is on The History Channel, Discovery, Science Channel, Military Channel, or National Geographic. All those shows/channels are great, but I won't really make an effort to watch them during the day.

But there is one show that I will clear my schedule for. If I was a brain surgeon removing a tumor from a dying patient, I would put the scalpel down the minute this show came on.

That show is Seinfeld.

I grew up watching Seinfeld (yes, I grew up in the 90's. I'm only 21). My father was a fan since the pilot episode when the show was called The Seinfeld Chronicles and Kramer's name was Kessler. Every week, we would gather in the living room and sit tight for a lesson in hilariously simple comedy. Of course, I wasn't old enough to understand 90% of what they were talking about, but it still captured my attention.

I watched every episode the day it was aired. I didn't miss a single one.

Then comes high school. Seinfeld had long since been canceled (ok, not long, maybe 2 years) and I felt a huge void in my life. TV just wasn't the same. I actually had to spend time outside of the house with my friends, riding bikes and smoking pot and chasing girls. How could Jerry Seinfeld DO THAT TO ME?!

Yeah, so they played re-runs, but it wasn't the same. Plus, my story is more dramatic if we just forget re-runs ever existed, so can we do that? Thanks.

It came first as a rumor. Quiet whisperings on the internet about a SEINFELD DVD SET. 'No way,' I said. It won't happen. See, this was before TV on DVD box sets became a big thing. In fact, DVD players were still a big investment for some families.

(If you are with the FBI, please skip the next paragraph.)

It was also ironic because I was downloading all the episodes off of Morpheus and Kazaa and burning VCD copies of all the season. It was a huge undertaking, and really, I never made it past season 1. Actually, I never even got season 1 on a CD.

(FBI can start reading again.)

But then it happened. Major news sources started talking about Seinfeld DVD sets. I couldn't believe it! It was the best news I have heard since the fall of the USSR, and the crazy thing is, I don't remember ever hearing about that. I was 4 at the time, and I imagine someone had to tell me.

Me and my dad went out on a cold November day to Best Buy and we came home with a shiny cardboard box with 4 of our favorite comedians on it. We put the pristine DVDs in the 5 disc changer and pressed play.

I felt whole again. I had my Seinfeld back.

The show seriously has affected my life. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has things happen to them and you say to yourself 'I could totally see that being in a Seinfeld episode.' It's true. We all have those moments, and what is so amazing about it is usually they are the most boring and mundane moments in our day to day lives. Jerry Seinfeld made those moments mean something to us. He made them significant. In essence, he has enhance our lives, adding an extra 1% of enjoyment to the 4% of enjoyment we got out of our lives before him.

So, to conclude, I just want to say, thank you Jerry Seinfeld. You have made my life worth living.

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